Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Who hurt you?

Unless you want to sit through a 13 hour PowerPoint presentation.

Who do fish listen to when they want to hear some dubstep?

Krillex.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do wives and shingles have in common?

If you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness?

Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Who's singing this?

Me: "Franz Ferdinand." 7yo: "But, he died in 1914." Me:

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?

A bullfighter!

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

45 minutes.