What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll?

People keep ripping me off.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people call Mozart and Beethoven after they died?

Decomposers

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

It reads "Small medium at large."

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.