Who fills in for the president of Russia when he's on leave?

Deputin

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Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human?

He was just chasing tail.

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What do call the President of Russia with an upset stomach?

Vladimir Poopin

Why can't you have military coup in Russia?

Because in Russia the military coups you.

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Who would you like for president in 2020?

Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.

Who succeeded the first President of the USA?

The second one!

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What do you call a book filled with outlines of Star Wars characters?

A Kylo Ren Book

Why don't Muslims fill out online forms?

Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah.