Fill Jokes

What is John Lennon's favourite donut?

Strawberry Filled forever!

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment?

Ten ants (Tenants)

Why did the donut go to the dentist?

To get a filling!

What do you get if you fill a suburb full of Mermen?

Prawn crackers.

What smells of cheese and is filled with holes?

About 100 French people right now

How do men and women fill the fuel tank differently?

Men jiggle the nozzle afterwards.

Where can you go to fill all of your rhino related needs?

Rhinos R Us

How many ants does it takes to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

Who fills in for the president of Russia when he's on leave?

Deputin

How are the Buffalo Bills like Billy Graham?

Both of them fill a stadium with 60,000 people shouting " "

What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean?

Amandeep trouble.

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What do you call a space pub filled with white chicks?

The Mos Eisley can't even.

What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister?

They are both in bread.

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

Pop culture

How do you double the price of a Fiat?

Fill the tank

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.

Why do Catholics drink?

Because they're filled with the Holy Spirit

Why are men the best chefs?

Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.

What does trail mix have in common with a nursing home?

They're both filled with nuts

What do you call a book filled with outlines of Star Wars characters?

A Kylo Ren Book

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How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair?

Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt.

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten ants!

What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings?

A fish tank!

What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?

Fill me in when you get back

Who's there! Cargo! Cargo who?

Cargo better if you fill it with gas first!

How about a month filled with stress and obligation?

Pitch for December

How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts?

Strawberry filled forever.

What did the tooth say to the dentist?

Fill 'er up!

Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties?

A pitcher filled with margaritas!

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

Thar's gold in them thar fills.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

Why would an alien ever visit Roswell?

Fill in the blank or answer the question.

Why did the fallen child cross the road?

Believing that one day, the chicken will cross the road, it fills you with determination.

Why did the pie go to the dentist?

It needed a filling.

Why did the Papal Palace fill up with kittens?

Because the Pope was a cat-holic. Eh Eh

Why did Batman fill his freezer with water bottles?

Because he wanted just ice.

Why can't they use PC's as word-processors in Poland?

The screens keep on filling up with white-out.

Why is there no 'Hot girls' guide to getting laid'?

My phone number won't fill up an entire book.

Why does everyone call you "Gross Gary"?

Gary: filling a canteen with hotdog water Nobody calls me that.

How do make a Kia twice as valuable?

Fill up the tank

What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?

Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

Cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

What do Princess Di's coffin and a Queen Bee have in common?

They're both filled with Royal Jelly.

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Hoot Jokes More Hoot Jokes

What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?

A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!

What happened when the owl lost his voice?

He didn't give a hoot!

R Jokes More R Jokes

What's a Pirate's favorite letter?

Rrrrrrrr? You think it be R but it be sea

What shape is your table?

Um, round But that's not really... R: Got it

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

What do Kodak film and John Lennon have in common?

They both came in a yellow box

What's John Lennon's favorite card game?

Yoko Uno

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?

A bald man.

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

Why doesn't the ant ever get sick?

He has lots of antibodies.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Mud Jokes More Mud Jokes

How do vampire football players get the mud off?

They all get in the bat-tub.

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?

Because he was a dirty double crosser.

Caveman Jokes More Caveman Jokes

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What do you call a caveman that goes walkabout?

A Meanderthal.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do you call people who use the pull out method?

Parents

How many virgins does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But he will pull it back out and stick it back in again just to make sure hes got the right hole.