What does a condom have in common with a coffin?

Ones for coming and ones for going.

This joke may have profanity.
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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How Pokemon Go came to be Customers: "Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?

Niantic: "147 Pokemon You want to have 145 Pokemon! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon!"

Why has the pope never won a gold medal?

Because he always came in a little behind.

One Jokes More One Jokes

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom?

Don't worry baby, I'm sterile.

What's the difference between a condom and the space-time continuum?

There wasn't a hole in my dad's space-time continuum.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all of the coffin.