What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why did the man call his horse Fleabag?

Because he was often scratched!

What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?

You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

How can you tell when a vampire is sick?

By his coffin!

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

How did you do in your tests?

I did what George Washington did! What was that Went down in history!

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.