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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

Why are there scratches all over your face?

Jujitsu training" You can scratch in jujitsu "It's my cat's best move"

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What screams, wails, and lights up?

A bus-load of babies on fire.

Why was the pregnant woman screaming "wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!"?

She was having contractions.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

How old were you on your last birthday?

Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday Ten. Oh I don't think that's possible. Oh yes it is - I'm nine today.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What do you called a prince-sized bed?

A coffin.

Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What's the difference between George Washington and Nicki Minaj?

Nicki Minaj never owned slaves.(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=Gr1p4KtgOXc)

When George Washington was a general why did he like to have dogs around?

They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"