What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

They don't have balls to scratch.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's the difference between a kid and a drawer?

A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

What Would Justin Bieber Do?

Scream like a little girl, grab nonexistent testicles & run away awkwardly.

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What's not 50% off today?

Health insurance

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

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Why did the funeral director cover his mouth?

He kept coffin

What did one casket say to the other?

Is that you coffin?

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What color was George Washington's white horse?

Haha morons

When George Washington was a general why did he like to have dogs around?

They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"