What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree?

Ruff Bark

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Where's Wally?

Book today but couldn't find one anywhere. Well played, Wally. Well played.

How are you today?

Me: Tim.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

Why did the funeral director cover his mouth?

He kept coffin

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat?

He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row!

What's George Washington's favorite element?

Americium-1776