Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a duck with an avocado?

Quackamole

What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

Why did the IT guy want to be an astronaut?

So he can find router space.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

Why are bears so hairy?

They don't have salons in the jungle!

What did the bear say to her date?

I'll be down in a minute I'm bearly dressed

Andrew Jokes More Andrew Jokes

Who's there! Andrew! Andrew who?

Andrew all her money out of the bank!

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone truly loves fast food?

It has a special place in their hearts

What happens when you see two twin sister witches?

You don't know which witch is which!

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)