Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Boxer Jokes More Boxer Jokes

Why didn't the boxer cross the road?

He didn't want to be part of a bad punch line.

What language does a boxer who punches jokes speak?

Punjabi-ng.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where do people go when they die?

Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.

Why don't people hang out with the mushroom?

He isn't a fungi.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree!

What's a racists favorite song by The Rolling Stones?

Paint it, black!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What was Boaz like before he got married?

Ruthless.

What would you do if I died?

Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry Husband: Ah, not that crazy..

Portrait Jokes More Portrait Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait?

His portrait only need one nail

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish?

Swimming trunks

Why was the fish processing factory built beside the computer factory?

So that they could make fish and chips.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor.

What sound does a Nintendo Ambulence make?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U.

Art Jokes More Art Jokes

What did the microbiologist bring to the art fair?

A cup of yogurt.

Why do we need art?

Because the Earth without art is just "Eh".