Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack, and I'll plaster you.

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

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How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

How did the artist paint a picture?

Easel-y.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

Who was the best actor in the bible?

Samson he brought the house down!

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What fish goes up the river at 100mph?

A motor pike!

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

Do you know how to drive this thing

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?

He paints his hooves red.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

What's the difference between a joke on Reddit and a joke on 9Gag?

About a day.

Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him "Elvis the pelvis"?

Because he had a brother named Enos.

How many are you?

We are three. - Three - Me and my brother. - You have a brother - No why do you ask

Economy Jokes More Economy Jokes

What do Apple and the US economy have in common now?

No Jobs

Why do birds live in nests?

Because they can't afford houses in this economy.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What drug is most destructive with phones?

Crack.

Why are aussie bogans and necrophiliacs the same?

They both want to crack open a cold one.