Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What dinosaur knows the most words?

Thesaurus.

What is the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver?

The drunk driver will blow through a stop sign without even knowing it was there.. The high driver will wait until it turns green

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How can you find the blind guy at a nudist colony?

It's not hard

Where is the best place to find discounted ray bans?

Gt marked as spam

Zebra Jokes More Zebra Jokes

What has four legs and is always ready to travel?

A zebra with a private jet.

Why don't the zebra and the lion like to play cards in the prairie?

CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY CHEETAHS!!!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What's big and grey and wears a mask?

The elephantom of the opera!

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do sea monsters have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

What do you call a fish that can't sing?

An out-of-tuna!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

How long have we been married dear?

Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

Why can't the two melons get married?

I don't know but they cantaloupe.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

Why didn't the koala get a job?

He didn't have enough koalifications!

Economy Jokes More Economy Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

How can we stop ISIS?

EUROPE: How can we save our economy AMERICA: What color is this dress!