Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Brah Jokes More Brah Jokes

Where do you find a zebra?

25 letters after a, brah.

Who is a bodybuilder's favourite painter?

Gainsborough(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ThomasGainsborough) Pronounced "Gainz, brah"

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Which dinosaur was the hardest to find?

The Steganosaurus! And do you know why...because it was encryptid!

Where's Wally?

Book today but couldn't find one anywhere. Well played, Wally. Well played.

Economy Jokes More Economy Jokes

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Boxer Jokes More Boxer Jokes

Why didn't the boxer cross the road?

He didn't want to be part of a bad punch line.

What do you get when you mix a boxer and cocaine?

A punchline

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

Best before...

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

How does one turn a fox into a pig?

Marry her.

Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry?

They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

What did the bear say to her date?

I'll be down in a minute I'm bearly dressed

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

How many dancers does it take to change a lightbulb?

5,6,7,8