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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

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Painter Jokes More Painter Jokes

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who gives a cluck (I wonder if the moderators will censor this joke merely on the grounds that it is categorically terrible)

How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. You've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree? They're pretty good at it.

What's red and smells like paint?

Red paint

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why do Spanish beaches have a lot of women?

Cos they're playas.

How are doctors so well tempered even under heavy stress?

They have a lot of patients