What's black and white and makes a lot ...

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

Drum Jokes More Drum Jokes

Why would no one listen to the percussion section?

Because they couldn't drum up enough support.

What do a guitar and a drum have in common?

Neither of them are a clarinet!

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

Why did Frodo set his cell phone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away.

What do you call a night watchman with deep-set self-esteem issues?

An insecurity guard

Noise Jokes More Noise Jokes

What noise does a witch make when she's flyin around?

BROOM BROOM BROOOOOOOM

How do you catch King Kong?

Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Panda Jokes More Panda Jokes

What's the most obvious name you can give a Panda?

Pan, duh!

What does a panda say when it's out of food?

Chute

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?