What did the rich socialite's parrot say?

Polly want a cracker with cavier please!

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What does a bird say when it wants revenge?

Toucan play at that game!

Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first?

Pupil: I want to know how it ends!

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What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!