Cracker Jokes

Why do white people hate being called crackers?

Because they find it insaltine.

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What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS!...Polly want a cracker.

What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers?

Cracka-lackin

What seemed to be the parrots problem?

Prolly wanted a cracker!

What places have the least racial tensions?

Bakeries, there are brownies and crackers there and yet they never fight.

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked?

Cracker.

What did the rich socialite's parrot say?

Polly want a cracker with cavier please!

Who ate all the crackers?

Racist cannibal.

What's one cracker plus two crackers. 257 Calories(http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?

I=What%27s+one+cracker+plus+two+crackers%3F)

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

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What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz.

Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?

Because he went crackers.

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

Because polly wanted a cracker

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

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One Jokes More One Jokes

Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?

The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

Intimidate Jokes More Intimidate Jokes

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy

What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach?

Cheez It!

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Shea Stadium and Sloan-Kettering?

At Sloan-Kettering the Mets always win.

What is the difference between a dollar and LeBron James?

LeBron James doesnt give you 4 quarters.

Fill Jokes More Fill Jokes

How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts?

Strawberry filled forever.

What did the tooth say to the dentist?

Fill 'er up!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why hang Wanted posters in the post office?

We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

('He wanted cold hard cash!')

Ritz Jokes More Ritz Jokes

What's Vladimir's favorite song?

Putin on the Ritz

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What did one black guy say to another black guy?

We're both black guys.

Why did the black guy get mad at the pirate?

He dropped the hard 'arrrrrr.'