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How do you know you're getting old?

When you exit a museum, you trigger the alarm.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

Alarm Jokes More Alarm Jokes

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What is the difference between a millennial and a gun?

A gun only has one trigger.

What do guns and feminists have in common?

They are very loud when triggered.

Museum Jokes More Museum Jokes

What do you call a museum for cows?

A moo-seum.

Why did the cheese go to the museum?

To get cultured

Exit Jokes More Exit Jokes

What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds?

Exit the European Union.

What is the fastest way to exit a car on the highway?

Through the windshield