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Vend Machine Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

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How does the Asian chef get to work?

He woks.

What is a joke that works on many levels?

HR Department.

Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

What do people do for a party itinerary in the Jersey Shore?

Gym.Tan.Laundry.

Why do people go to the gym again?

Do they not know what a nap is

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How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.

Why do Soviets use lowercase letters?

Because they don't understand CAPitalism

Gym Membership Jokes More Gym Membership Jokes

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why are gym memberships illegal?

Because of the Free Exercise Clause.

Monica Lewinsky Jokes More Monica Lewinsky Jokes

What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

1 US Leader.

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

Rapper Jokes More Rapper Jokes

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

What do rappers use to wash their clothes?

BLEEE-AAAACH!

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

Football Coach Jokes More Football Coach Jokes

Why did the football coach return to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

Why did the football coach go to Aldi?

To get his quarter back!