Vend Machine Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

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What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

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Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't you hear Michelle Pfeiffer use the restroom?

Because her pee is silent.

How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?

A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!

Monica Lewinsky Jokes More Monica Lewinsky Jokes

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you want on your tombstone?

Pepperoni and cheese.

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

Machine Jokes More Machine Jokes

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

It stole the show!

How do you get milk from a witch's cat?

Steal her saucer.

Insert Bill Jokes More Insert Bill Jokes

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many groupies does it take to change a light-bulb?

None, they all know someone that does it for them.

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!!!