Vend Machine Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

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What's the best machine I can use?

The trainer responds, "The ATM"

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

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Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why did the zombie get a gym membership?

Gaaaainsss

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What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback!!

Why did the football coach return to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

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A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

What is my dentist's favorite indie band?

Fluoride and the Machine

Vend Jokes More Vend Jokes

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

Quarter Jokes More Quarter Jokes

Why did the football player tackle the phone booth?

To get his quarter back!

What do you call an Ethiopian with a piece of cheese on his head?

Quarter pounder with cheese!

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Why do rappers love weed so much?

Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it

Why couldn't Bach be a rapper?

Because he's Baroque.