Quarter Jokes

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Why did the football coach go to Aldi?

To get his quarter back!

How do you know when the Moon is going broke?

When it's down to it's last quarter.

How many quarters does it take to play the Lord of the Rings pinball game?

None, it only takes Tolkiens

What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

What time was it?

A quarter to three.

What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef?

A humburger.

What does an American call a Canadian Dollar?

A quarter.

Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine?

Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?

Money's tight these days!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

How did Chad Kroeger lose a quarter?

Everyone who bought his tickets wanted their nickelback

Why is the moon like a dollar?

It has four quarters.

What goes into the mouth of a quarter horse?

Two bits!

Why did the football player tackle the phone booth?

To get his quarter back!

Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball?

They had No Quarter

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

Because it had more cents

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

You might also enjoy:

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell when a Software Developer is an extrovert?

He looks at shoes when he's talking to you.

How are lawyers and apples similar?

They both look good hanging from a tree

Slice Jokes More Slice Jokes

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?

When it's been sliced.

Ethiopian Jokes More Ethiopian Jokes

What is the fastest animal in the world?

The Ethiopian chicken.

How to Ethiopians celebrate their child's first birthday?

They place flowers on the grave.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What's her favorite song?

I'm Going Through the Big D and Don't Mean Dallas

What "YSK" means?

Everyone keeps telling me that I should know...

Fetish Jokes More Fetish Jokes

What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Whats the difference between a kink and a fetish?

A kink is something put in a hose, a fetish is something she wants to put in your hose.

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

Who r they 2 stop u?

Boy: My wife &amp 2 kids.

Super Mario Bros Jokes More Super Mario Bros Jokes

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim.....

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.