Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

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What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Cantaloupe...

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know.

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What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer?

Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry

What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player?

He got crossed.

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Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

Why dosn't Jesus Christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

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When did razors get so expensive?

Three more payments and I'll be able to shave

What happens when a cow stops shaving?

It grows a Moostache.

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Where does Sean Connery sit?

In the toilet.

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols

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What's the difference between a princess and a witch?

2 years of marriage.

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

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What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim.....