Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play ...

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Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

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What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it?

It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

Why can't American engineers design linear actuators?

Because they always try to maximize the degrees of freedom.

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Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)