Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

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What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?

Because they always blow their trunks off!

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What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer?

Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry

Why couldn't the choir director figure out whether Alison Brie was alto soprano?

Everytime he tried, he was told that she was young and that they tried not to sectionalise her.

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What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool?

I rack.

Why don't Germans play games with new players?

Because they don't want to wreck Danubes.

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How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?

Because he rarely shaved the balls.

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Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year?

About tennish.

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What do Super Mario Brothers, and relationships have in common?

Sometimes you have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess

What did Anakin say when the princess asked for his credit card?

Naboo

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What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros?

A cow can't be milked for over 30 years

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim.....