How are lawyers and apples similar?

They both look good hanging from a tree

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the white guy see when he looked at his family tree?

A straight line.

Why do bears have fur coats?

Because they'd look stupid in anoraks!

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

What did the racist surfer say when asked about hanging a black man?

Hang ten dude!!

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What do Porsche and Apple have in common?

New product, same design.

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs!

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree?

Poll tree!

What do you get when you scare a tree?

Petrified wood.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?

New Jersey got to choose first

What does a lawyer say to another lawyer?

We are both a lawyer.