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What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good?

Arcane-gel!

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What's the last thing you want to hear while using a urinal?

Nice watch

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

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What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?

She went looking for the three guys.