What 3 candies do you find in school?

Redhots, DumDums, and smarties.

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Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

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How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?

Not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

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What are you going to be when you get out of school?

An old man!

How do the fish get to school?

By octobus!

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What 3 candies do you find in school?

Redhots, DumDums, and smarties.

Why did the M&M's go to college?

Because they wanted to be smarties.