Agree Jokes

Why does everyone agree when you judge someone's voice?

Because you make sound judgement.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan?

I'm in, but I'm not decent.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

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Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What do you call a judge that doesn't have any fingers?

Justice Thumbs

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

Odor in the court!!!

Debate Jokes More Debate Jokes

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

Who Loves Debates?

De fishes

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

Service Jokes More Service Jokes

Why did the Cell Tower Cafe get bad reviews?

Because the service was horrible.

Why did the hacker start selling his services?

So he could make his 4Chan.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is one thing that both Australians &amp Americans share the same view on?

1961

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why planes are faster than car and buses?

Because they are almost never **tired**.

Why did the chicken get himself run over by a car?

To get to the "other side".

Aye Phone Jokes More Aye Phone Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What did the guy with bad internet get?

What do you do when you see Michael J. Fox in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.