Agree Jokes

Why does everyone agree when you judge someone's voice?

Because you make sound judgement.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

What do 9 out of 10 people agree on?

A gangbang

This joke may have profanity.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did Daredevil say after begrudgingly agreeing with The Punisher's brutally honest opinion that he's just a half-measure?

You're such a Frank Castle.

What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan?

I'm in, but I'm not decent.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

When do men insist that women are illogical?

When a woman doesn't agree with them.

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

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Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?

Odor Odor in the court!!!

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

Justice Fingers!

Aye Phone Jokes More Aye Phone Jokes

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic?

Cash or Czech Edit: a word

What is the one thing wrong with a Piles joke?

It doesn't sit well.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did Han Solo say when Leia asked for help with a crossword clue?

I don't know

What do boys and algebra have in common?

They are both trying to find their X and they don't know Y.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why are so many racist jokes about black people?

Because black people can't read. Duh.

Why couldn't the dimwit read more than one sentence?

There was a full stop

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What is Jesus' favorite workout?

Pontius Pilates

What do Jesus, Gandhi and Mel Gibson all have in common?

They all had a brave-heart.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?

Because nobody made sandwiches

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

Why can't Atheist solve exponential equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers

What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

A-pasta-ate.