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What's big and grey and protects you from the rain?

An umbrellaphant!

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Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

Why are Native American strippers the best?

When they dance they make it rain.

What do you call dangerous precipitation?

A rain of terror

Protect Jokes More Protect Jokes

What do bostonians call dogs that protect heaven's gates?

God dogs

How do you protect yourself from ghosts?

Hide in the living room.