Professor Jokes

What happens when you offend a professor of various human aspects?

You owe them an anthrapology

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What do you call it when Professor X does a wheelie?

Professor +

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

What happens when a professor teaches for a decade?

He gets Tenyear.

What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

Why do professors like stats and physics students?

Because they'll work for p naughts.

Why didn't the engineering student have a good relationship with his professor?

There were too many truss problems.

Why was the professor cross-eyed?

Because he couldn't control his pupils!

When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

What did people call the Nutty Professor before he became a professor?

Mr. Peanut

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What's the smartest cookie?

Academia nut

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Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

What do we want!?

No daylight savings!" "When do we want it! " "An hour ago!!!"

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?

A bah-humbug.

Why did the Muslim cross the road?

To get to the bigger crowd

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

Owe Jokes More Owe Jokes

What happens when you offend a professor of various human aspects?

You owe them an anthrapology

Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

Spring Jokes More Spring Jokes

What is a mattress' favorite season?

Spring.

What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived?

He wet his plants.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the best part of Chinese food?

The 4/10 cookie

Why do crows do vocal exercises every morning?

For the Good of the Caws.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What did one alcoholic say to the other alcoholic?

I forget

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im