Owe Jokes

What happens when you offend a professor of various human aspects?

You owe them an anthrapology

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Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

What do you say to a Jedi who stole your sicilian dessert?

You owe me one cannoli.

Why can't Zeno seem to pay his bar tab in full?

Because he kept giving half of what he owes.

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

Why was Albert Einstein's dad afraid to teach him vowels?

Because everytime he tried, he kept owing his son money!

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

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Eve Jokes More Eve Jokes

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Who was the world's first carpenter?

Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Where're we going?

Who the hell did I just drop off at school!

How did Satan turn an unbeliever holy?

He scared the hell out of him.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What question must always be answered "Yes"?

What does Y-E-S spell

How many Public Radio hosts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

We'll be back with that answer right after this pledge break.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

See ya next month.

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya?

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How did Jesus pay for our sins?

Pray-Pal

How does someone pay for a painting?

With Monet

Offend Jokes More Offend Jokes

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS?

They always take things the wrong way.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

Neutron Jokes More Neutron Jokes

How much will that be?

Asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."