Owe Jokes

What happens when you offend a professor of various human aspects?

You owe them an anthrapology

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Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

What do you say to a Jedi who stole your sicilian dessert?

You owe me one cannoli.

Why can't Zeno seem to pay his bar tab in full?

Because he kept giving half of what he owes.

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

Why was Albert Einstein's dad afraid to teach him vowels?

Because everytime he tried, he kept owing his son money!

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

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Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

What the hell is that?

Sherlock responds, "A lemon tree my dear Watson."

Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

What happens when you offend a professor of various human aspects?

You owe them an anthrapology

Albert Einstein Jokes More Albert Einstein Jokes

Why can't Albert Einstein drive?

Because he never learned.

What would Albert Einstein's name be if he was blonde?

Nobody would know

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

What do you call a half-length lightsabre?

A slightsabre

Cannoli Jokes More Cannoli Jokes

What do you say to a Jedi who stole your sicilian dessert?

You owe me one cannoli.

What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery?

Only one cannoli.

Shill Jokes More Shill Jokes

What is the new coin called?

A Shilling, of course.

Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What did the straight edge ghost say to the bartender?

No boos for me.

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What is up with 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?

I can't even...

How do you find a British person in a crowd?

1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.