Eve Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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What time of day was Adam born?

Just a little before Eve

What did adam say to eve?

Let's save humanity.

What did the pro bono plastic surgeon say to their patient on Dec 31st?

Happy new ears Eve!

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What did Adam say to Eve on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!

What did God say after she made Eve?

Practice makes perfect.

What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

A. They really raised Cain.

What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has?

Parents.

Why did Eve want to move to New York?

She fell for the Big Apple!

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What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve?

I'm turning over a new leaf.

Who were the first people not to read the apple ToC?

Adam and Eve

How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

A. They were really put out.

Who was the world's first carpenter?

Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand.

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

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Humanity Jokes More Humanity Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What did adam say to eve?

Let's save humanity.

Buck Jokes More Buck Jokes

What's the difference between hazelnuts and deernuts?

Hazelnuts are normally around $1.50/lb, deernuts are always under a buck.

What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer?

The podiatrist bucks up your feet.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What is the definition of diplomacy?

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

Why are Astronauts seen as condescending?

Because all they do is look down at people.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

How does a Nun save herself from being poisoned?

Nun chucks.

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

LONG) Damn.

Strike Jokes More Strike Jokes

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!

Why did the rabbits go on strike?

They wanted a better celery!

Baseball Game Jokes More Baseball Game Jokes

What has eight legs and an IQ of forty?

Four guys watching a baseball game.

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

Day Christmas Jokes More Day Christmas Jokes

What did Adam say to Eve on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!