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Baseball Game Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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What did Glenn say to Maggie at the baseball game?

I'll keep an eye out for you!

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?

4 the home team

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

What has eight legs and an IQ of forty?

Four guys watching a baseball game.

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Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

Fast Jokes More Fast Jokes

Why did the very religious man not say a word while he was fasting?

He was afraid that he would swallow his words.

What do The Walking Dead and Fast & Furious have in common?

Dead walkers

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you call a second hand gold necklace?

Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

What do you call someone that steals shoes?

A sneaker.

Giant Jokes More Giant Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

How big was the ant when it knocked over the table?

GiANT!!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What did the guy with bad internet get?

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What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

Angel Jokes More Angel Jokes

What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!

Why did the angel lose her job?

She had harp failure.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?

Jackpot!

Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?

If there were one more it would be two-farty!