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What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

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Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.

What can run out before you've had a chance to use it?

Slaves.

Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

Why didn't the engineering student have a good relationship with his professor?

There were too many truss problems.

What do you call it when Professor X does a wheelie?

Professor +