What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

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Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe?

Bed

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

Who is your favourite philosopher?

PROFESSOR: It's Hume. ME: Sorry - whom is your favourite philosopher

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.