Baker Jokes

Why does the baker have so many loaves?

Because they bred.

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Why did the baker have brown hands?

He was kneading a poo.

Why/How do bakers work?

They knead the dough.

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

With an en croissant

What do you call a confused baker?

I dough know.

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough.

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

What did the baker name her dog?

Pido.

What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread?

I don't dough!

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Why did the baker's hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the dough say to the baker?

You, knead me.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

What did the baker say when he saw the beautiful woman?

I think I'm in loaf." Ba dum, tss.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

Why did the baker get smelly fingers?

Because he needed a poo.

What do you call a red-headed baker?

A Ginger-bread man

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

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What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky?

At yeast he's a fungi.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

What's a baker's biggest fear?

Something going a-rye while they're raisin' bread.

What do you call a baker with red hair?

A ginger bread man

How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire?

He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*.

Why did the baker rob the bank?

He needed the dough.

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake?

Dough!

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

What did the unused dough say to the baker?

Why don't you knead me

What does a baker wear on his feet?

Loafers.

Why was the baker happy when his pie caught fire in the oven?

He was a pieromaniac.

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded.

Why did the baker bake more bread?

He kneaded the dough.

Why were the bakers hands brown?

Because he kneeded a poo

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

Who did the baker bring to work?

His doughter.

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!

Why did the baker... Why did the baker have dirty hands?

Because he kneaded a poo....

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

Why did the baker's hands stink?

Because he needed a crap.

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The car salesman knows he is lying.

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The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

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You're about to meet da-feet!

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Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

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The Germans like shade

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Aileen against my Rolls Royce!

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One's a grand car and the other's a grand car

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What type of dog did the tweaker have?

A pure bred meth lab.

Why does the baker have so many loaves?

Because they bred.

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What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite....Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

What did the deer first say when he got to church?

Deer God, please forgive me of my sins.

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What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend?

I just need some bread.

Why can't you starve in a desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

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What did one loaf of bread say to the other?

Weirdo.

Why did the plane crash into the mountain?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.