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What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests?

It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.

Why does the USA use F?

The rest of the world has varying degrees of communism.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?

She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."

Why do push up bras not work for some girls?

Because 0x0 is always 0.

Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

Which Machine Should I Use?

Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

What's the only thing working out at the gym?

The business plan.

Atm Jokes More Atm Jokes

Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you?

An ATM machine

Machine Jokes More Machine Jokes

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They have a machine that does that now.

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

Impress Jokes More Impress Jokes

Why wasn't the pediatrician impressed with the New Year's Eve Times Square ball drop?

Because he has seen plenty of balls drop. (Sorry)

What is the difference between a philanthropist and Nicki Minaj?

A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**!