Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

Tape velcro to the ceiling.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you get when a truck full of potatoes drives into kindergarten full of kids?

Moussaka

What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid?

Toyodas

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What is the worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's?

It never happens just once.

How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

The tomato is red.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What's the difference between fog and mist?

If you hit it its fog, if you don't it's mist.

What's the sound of a water truck hitting a vinegar truck?

KAAA DOOOUUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5?

Because he said Punch's line.

How do you break a Pollock's finger?

Punch him in the nose.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What is with 2016?

It's like everyone and their mothers are dying. sorry not sorry

When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

Hay Jokes More Hay Jokes

What is the farmers favorite way to greet someone?

Hay!

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.