Darth Vader Jokes

How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

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What do you call it when Darth Vader moves one foot?

The Imperial March

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing.

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

I find your lack of steak disturbing.

Why is Darth Vader black?

Because he left his son.

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

How does Darth Vader like his milk?

Warm

Which boxer did Darth Vader put his money on in the fight?

The Thai fighter

What's Darth Vader's sister's name?

Elle Vader.

What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?

Snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an...

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How do we know that Darth Vader is American?

Because he marches to the Imperial March and not the Metric March

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

Why was Darth Vader so upset?

He was looking for the Rebels in Aldeerwrong places...

Which dessert did Darth Vader order in the Mexican restaurant?

Helado oscuro!

What's Darth Vader's least favorite temperature?

Luke warm. im sorry

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday?

I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents.

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

How did Darth Vader cross the street?

Ewoked.

What's Darth Vader's Favorite Mineral?

Co-pper

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Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

Because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

What is Darth Vader's least favorite band?

Faith No More

What evil do the USA and Darth Vader have in common?

Using imperial units.

Who wants to hear a Star Wars Spoiler?

Darth Vader is Luke's dad.

Where does Darth Vader go shopping?

The Darth mall! haha, funny joke.

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

How could you possibly know?

Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

What did Luke get for pulling Darth Vader's face mask off?

A 15 yard penalty.

Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?

Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

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Cliffsides (because it's so steep).

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He tractor!

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Where does Santa get presents for bad kids?

Kohl's.

Who's there! Census! Census who?

Census presents for Christmas!

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Why did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia never get together?

Because Luke was looking for love in Alderaan places!!

Why could Luke and Leia never be together?

They went looking for love in Alderaan places.

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Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

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Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin?

They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.

How did Godzilla get the job opportunity?

Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall.

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Where do Siths do their shopping?

At the Darth Mall

Where is Sith Lord's favorite place to shop?

Darth Mall.

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Where do you go if you want to find a very funny joke?

Apparently, not here

What is your favorite one or two line joke?

X-Post from AskReddit) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/32df3n/whatisyourfavoriteonetotwolinejoke/ There were some funny jokes in there

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What do you call someone who hates browsing the web with Google?

A Chromophobe.

What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny?

Hey, this looks new!