Favorite Jokes

What is Blackbeard and Captain Hooks favorite workout routine?

Pirates.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What is a cancer patients favorite bingo number?

What's Spider-Mans favorite online music app?

Spotafly.

Whats you favorite Christmas joke?

I know this is an unorthodox post, but, I would love to hear your favorites!

What's your favorite adult-themed Halloween joke?

My favorite is: "There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house leaving severed body parts on the doorstep. He gives me the willies."

What was the deaf mans favorite song?

The Sound of Silence.

What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are:

What's a police officers favorite console?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U. Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy.

What's a Brooklyn contractors favorite dance?

Dewalts

What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

What's Bernie Sanders favorite Christmas Carols?

Deck the halls with boughs of free cash

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Why are there separate book donation boxes for Nigeria, Ghana, AND Zambia outside the bookstore?

Am I supposed to pick my favorite

What is a video game characters favorite method of brawling?

Hitboxing!

Whats Darth Vaders favorite alchohol?

Darth Jaeger

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite, When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

What's a rednecks favorite part of archaology?

Relative dating

What is cookie monsters favorite war?

Vietnom nom nom nom

What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese?

Swish cheese.

What is Macauley Culkins favorite salad dressing?

Neverland Ranch.

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Doorstep Jokes More Doorstep Jokes

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?

You pay for the pizza.

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

100 Meter Jokes More 100 Meter Jokes

What's Isis' favorite race?

The 100-meter daesh. Q: What's Isis' favorite punctuation mark? A: The em-daesh. Q: How much cinnamon does the Isis recipe for gingersnaps call for? A: Just a daesh.

What's the worst thing about running 100 meters in less than 10 seconds?

Being black.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Me: Drunk!

What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's de-composing! Happy Halloween everyone.

Overnight Jokes More Overnight Jokes

What did the bishop say to a large group of priest at the overnight camp for young boys?

Let us prey.'

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

Lance Armstrong Jokes More Lance Armstrong Jokes

What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy?

Uniball

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

What's the difference between white people and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will finally develop its own cultures

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you get rid of pubic lice?

Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.

How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?

It's already run out of battery.

100 Meter Daesh Jokes More 100 Meter Daesh Jokes

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

What's Isis' favorite race?

The 100-meter daesh. Q: What's Isis' favorite punctuation mark? A: The em-daesh. Q: How much cinnamon does the Isis recipe for gingersnaps call for? A: Just a daesh.