Neighborhood Jokes

How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

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What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

What did the hipster say when a Starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!

How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful?

Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

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Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital?

Because he is dead. ((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))

Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy?

Because open balls are in his neighborhood

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between public hair and pubic hair?

Pants.

What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can't tuna fish!

Film Jokes More Film Jokes

Where does a cow go to watch a film?

The mooovies. pls tell to friends.

What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

The last one out is meant to get the Wights

Pasta Jokes More Pasta Jokes

What do you call a piece of pasta that doesn't have any friends?

Cannelonely!

What is Russia's favorite type of pasta?

Putinesca

Doorstep Jokes More Doorstep Jokes

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?

You pay for the pizza.

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How many tickles... How many tickles before a squid starts to laugh?

Ten tickles

Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion?

Because he was a slave to the cistern!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why were the people in twin towers upset?

They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane

Why do onions have poor self-image?

Because people cry when they get onions naked.