Neighborhood Jokes

How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

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What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

What did the hipster say when a Starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!

How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful?

Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me: Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between refrigerator and a child?

Refrigerator doesn't have a 'd' in it.

What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke?

Diet coke has better advertising.

Car Insurance Jokes More Car Insurance Jokes

What car insurance do Canadians have?

Triple 'eh'

Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?

Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.

Protect Jokes More Protect Jokes

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

Why does Steve Irwin hate sunblock?

It doesn't protect from harmful rays

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space?

A lunar-tick

What type of doctor prescribes Coke and 7-up for a living?

A Poptometrist!

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford?

So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What's worse than a fish in the SS?

In. Man, I did that coming.

Why do people call the deceased "late"?

They aren't late.. They aren't coming.

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

Whats you favorite Christmas joke?

I know this is an unorthodox post, but, I would love to hear your favorites!