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What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

How many country stars does it take to change a light bulb?

Six-1 to change the bulb and 5 to sing about how much they miss the old one.

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

What did the seamen say to his friend?

It was a long road, but I ended up coming out a head.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How can I buy the New York Times?

He replies "Ask my wife. She'll tell you how you do it.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why aren't you working?

Me: I didn't see you coming!

Why don't babies work?

Because they're all out of cervix

Sniper Jokes More Sniper Jokes

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you