Why did Lot leave his wife?

She became salty.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

50 pounds.

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

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What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house?

Namaste

What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!

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What does Facebook and a conversation between two teenagers have in common?

A lot of likes

Why did the guy get aroused by the highway?

Because there were lots of turn ons.