Why don't paperclips move around a lot?

They like being stationery.

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What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

What does Rolf Harris like to play with on the piano?

A minor.

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Why do pigs like February 14th?

They get lots of Valenswines.

What do women and police cars have in common?

They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.