Why don't paperclips move around a lot?

They like being stationery.

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Why should you always finish telling your jokes to David Carradine?

He doesn't like to be left hanging.

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

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What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.