How can you tell two people are married?

Both are yelling at the same kid.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the most trifling thing about divorce when you have kids?

Child custardy

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people say when Batman skips Church?

Christian Bale

Where do people go when they die?

Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid?

He was told not to play with his food.

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why don't married men live as long as single men?

They don't want to!

Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?

Because Croc-a-doodle-doo is a good family name.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

How do you frighten a Bee?

Sneak up behind it and yell BOO BEE!