Sniper Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

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How do snipers communicate online?

FaZebook.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Whore that was shot by a sniper?

360 hoscope

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

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Absolutely Jokes More Absolutely Jokes

What's the difference between a blind sniper and a constipated owl?

Everything. They have absolutely nothing in common.

What's white and 12 inches long?

Absolutely nothing.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was Princess Peach worried when Mario wanted to use her laptop?

She forgot to delete her Bowser history

What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?

Anything it wants!

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What did the poacher get when he saw the Northern White Rhino?

Shot.

Why did President Kennedy never get drunk?

He wasn't very good at taking shots.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Detroit and Cleveland?

5 years.

What is the difference between a dentist and a New York baseball fan?

One yanks for the roots, the other roots for the Yanks.

Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

What do you call a constipated German?

Farfrompoopin.

When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk?

Just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Where do dogs shop for groceries?

Wagmans.

What breed of dog loves to take a bath?

A shampoodle

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why did Dracula miss lunch?

Because he didn't fancy the stake.

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus?

He waits at the next station