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Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

Whats your first wish?

Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock?

I don't have time for your ship.

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women and linoleum have in common?

If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years.

How do you know when a woman is pregnant?

She switches from Ragu to Prego.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds?

Please wait...

How do you tell if somebody doesn't have a smartphone?

Just wait, they'll tell you.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What's the difference between a divorce and a tornado in the south?

Nothing. Either way someone is going to lose a trailer

What did the gamer wife told his gamer husband after they got divorced?

Good support in-game, bad in giving child support. gg no re