Fear Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

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Which 3 words will make a Mexican tremble in fear?

Round of 16

What's a redditors worst fear?

What's a blind mans worst fear?

A prius

What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink?

The Alaskan Bull Worm.

What do you call a fear of chainsaws?

Logic.

What's white, black, and can smell fear?

Deez nuts.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

What Pablo Escobar And Other Narcos Fear Most?

LEGALIZATION

Why did the psych ward escapee never get married?

He had a fear of commitment

Why dont Demons fear oxidation?

Because there's no rust for the wicked

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What do you call a fear of Alkaline?

A pH-obia

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

What do you call a fear of deadly snakes?

Common sense.

Which day do chickens fear most?

Fryday.

Why did the Soviets pull their missiles out?

Because they feared a premature ejectulation

What's ur biggst fear?

Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What's a vampire cows worst fear?

Steaks.

Who is the Sith Lord of fear?

Count Spooku

What day does the egg fear most?

Fry-day

What do you call the fear of chainsaws?

Common Sense.

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What do you call a fear of horned bovines?

Aurochnophobia.

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

What is snow?

No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this.

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3 Word Jokes More 3 Word Jokes

What are the first 3 words in every authentic Mexican recipe?

Steal a chicken

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Utah?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Why do milking stools only have 3 legs?

Because the cow has the udder

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What did Jay-Z call Beyonc before they were married?

Fiance

What did one Melon say to the other after it was asked marry it?

We Can't Alope

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What is a Mexicans favourite sport?

Cross-Country

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?

Cuatro cinco

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!

Pablo Escobar Jokes More Pablo Escobar Jokes

What Pablo Escobar And Other Narcos Fear Most?

LEGALIZATION

Why was Pablo Escobar always falling asleep?

He was **narco**leptic.

Verb Jokes More Verb Jokes

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

"Nobody's perfect!"