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How many lovers do the religious have?

Nun!

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Nun Jokes More Nun Jokes

What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her head

Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?

It takes 21 days to make a habit.

Lover Jokes More Lover Jokes

What did the lesbian vampire say to her lover?

See you next month

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."