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Lover Jokes

How do conspiracy theorists like their lovers?

Illumi-naughty

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What does a South Korean call their lover?

Their Seoul Mate.

How many lovers do the religious have?

Nun!

What did one lesbian vampire say to her lover?

See you next month.

What's in Heaven and Hell?

In Heaven, the cops are British, the engineers are German, the lovers are French, the cooks are Italian and the whole thing is managed by the Swiss In Hell, the cops are German, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss, the cooks are British and the whole thing is managed by the Italians

What is the magic word?

Son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case

What did the deer say to its lover?

You are very "deer" to me.

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's Day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What did the potato say to his lover?

You have amazing eyes.

Who's there! Buggy! Buggy who?

Buggy Jean is not my lover!

Who's there! Bully! Bully who?

Bully Jean is not my lover!

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What did the lesbian vampire say to her lover?

See you next month

Why couldn't the alligator satisfy his lover?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

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Lobster Jokes More Lobster Jokes

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city?

A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke holes that it's often poked before?

A key.

Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk?

Because they don't want the siren to die.

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

What cologne do engineers wear?

Elon's musk

Why do engineering students call themselves engineers?

You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What has 16 legs and speaks German?

Dppelspider

What did the cowboy say upon entering the German dealership?

Audi

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?

When your nose touches the ceiling!

Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed?

He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep.

Swiss Jokes More Swiss Jokes

Why does God like Swiss cheese?

It's holey! get it

How many Swiss does it take to change a light bulb?

None. We pay a German to do it.

Ann Coulter Jokes More Ann Coulter Jokes

How much for the sentient racist skeleton?

Sir, that's Ann Coulter...