Monk Jokes

What do you call a monk that likes vaporwave?

A S C E T I C

Love

Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

What do you call a monk that cooks potatoes?

A friar? A chip monk?

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

Why do monks wear the same clothes every day?

Because old habits die hard.

What's the most fun a monk can have?

Nun

Why does Bane and a monk get along well in the morning?

Because the friar rises!

What does a monk say when you evict him?

Namaste

What is a religious gorilla called?

A monk-ey

When is it okay for monks to use e-mail?

When there are no attachments

What do you call a monk that operates a door unlocking service?

A monkey. (p.s. I have a wonderful, terrible love for bad jokes)

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What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common?

They both have ornamental balls

What did the monk say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

Why do monks wear such plain clothes?

It's a habit.

What do you call a place monks go for Halloween?

A monascary

Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

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Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

Why can't Bane play baseball?

He always breaks the bat.

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What do Chinese bears use to cook?

A pan. Duh!

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Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

Why doesn't Bono like Google?

He still hasn't found what he's looking for.

How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of them actually. Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb.

Dorito Jokes More Dorito Jokes

Why are doritos triangular?

Because they are illuminachos.

What do you call someone who worships Doritos?

A chip monk.

Thought Jokes More Thought Jokes

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

Change.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable?

Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.

What do you do when you see an epileptic throwing a fit in a bath tub?

You throw in some laundry and detergent.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

I find your lack of steak disturbing.

Who are the hamburgers favourite people?

Vegetarians!

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

Why does OP never deliver?

Removed

Why was the Mercedes Benz on sales?

Because they've removed 6 rows of yellow LED strips...