Monk Jokes

What do you call a monk that likes vaporwave?

A S C E T I C

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What do you call a monk that cooks potatoes?

A friar? A chip monk?

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

Why do monks wear the same clothes every day?

Because old habits die hard.

What's the most fun a monk can have?

Nun

Why does Bane and a monk get along well in the morning?

Because the friar rises!

What does a monk say when you evict him?

Namaste

What is a religious gorilla called?

A monk-ey

When is it okay for monks to use e-mail?

When there are no attachments

What do you call a monk that operates a door unlocking service?

A monkey. (p.s. I have a wonderful, terrible love for bad jokes)

What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common?

They both have ornamental balls

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What did the monk say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

Why do monks wear such plain clothes?

It's a habit.

What do you call a place monks go for Halloween?

A monascary

Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

Who are the hamburgers favourite people?

Vegetarians!

What do vegetarian zombies want?

Graaaaiiiiinss!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

Who's there! Cellar! Cellar who?

Cellar. No I think she can be repaired!

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

What do people who don't like the slippery slope argument call it?

The slippery slope fallacy

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But he gets three hours credit.

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

What do women and Google have in common?

They never let you finish first. (#s)

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

Thought Jokes More Thought Jokes

What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life?

May my thoughts be with them.

How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq?

Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.