March Madness Sale - 25% Off

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Previous Random Joke Next
Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

Why should I excuse your dear aunt Sally?

Her operations were not unprecedented.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did Donkey Kong say when Mario asked him for help for some schoolwork?

I D K

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

Why do primates do so well in show biz?

Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Beast Jokes More Beast Jokes

What's 668?

The Neighbor of the Beast.

What does the number 668 represent?

The of the Beast.

Abduct Jokes More Abduct Jokes

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Pretty Girl Jokes More Pretty Girl Jokes

What's the difference between a pretty girl and an apple?

One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.

What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl?

Sometimes i get the joke.