Mrs. Claus Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

Because Santa came early!

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear

What do you call Santa's wife?

Mrs Claus.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

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Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

Because he saw the snowblower coming

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?

They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

How much did the pirate spend on his earings?

A buck an ear.

Clause Jokes More Clause Jokes

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

Who corrects Santa's grammar?

A subordinate Clause.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why can't Santa play in the NBA?

He has a no-trade Claus

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed?

Looks like we got a tail.

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM?

Because he charges!