Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

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Sarcasm Jokes More Sarcasm Jokes

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Who else have gone through this Sarcasm?

Me: Baby, I was thinking about you so sending you She: Thanks for Thinking

Bruce Lee Jokes More Bruce Lee Jokes

What is Bruce Lee's favourite drink?

Wataaaah!

What do you call Bruce Lee stuffed in a shell?

A crustacean

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital?

Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

What do you call someone who walks into a building full of people?

A cannibal.

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

What was the pirate boxing champion known for?

His left hook.

How do we fix boxing?

We can't. It's already fixed.

Environmental Impact Statement Jokes More Environmental Impact Statement Jokes

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

Lee Jokes More Lee Jokes

What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements?

A parent, Lee.

What do you call a parent named Lee?

Apparently

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house?

The guy likes his power chords too much.

How the does man give his dead batteries away?

Free of charge, of course.