Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

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Bruce Lee Jokes More Bruce Lee Jokes

What is the name of Bruce Lee's crippled brother?

Broccoli

What beverage does Bruce Lee like to drink?

WAA-TAA!

Lee Jokes More Lee Jokes

What do you call a spontaneous man named Lee?

Spontaneously

What do you call a parent named Lee?

Apparently

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What is the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl?

You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball

Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3?

Because off sequence, Yoda was.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How much do used batteries cost?

Nothing, they are free of charge.

Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

What happened to when the coke bottle was ran over by the steam roller?

He was soda pressed.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What does mosquito say when its parents die?

Shhhhhh.....it!!

Why parents don't allow their children to listen to M. Jackson songs?

Because they are very touching

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

What are you celebrating?

They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"

Why was the blond happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

It said 2 to 4 years on the box.