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What's the most emotional computer you can buy?

A Dell.

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What kind of computer says "Hello"?

A Dell

What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?

You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.

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When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog?

So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it.