Step Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

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What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Why shouldn't you go barefoot in Nigeria?

You might step on the Lagos.

What do you call a movie about dancing robots?

Step up: transformers:v

What do you say to a molecular biologist who's about to step foot into the ring?

Show him what you're made of!

What do you get when you step into the ring with Mohammad Ali?

Too soon

How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries?

He stepped down.

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into?

None of your abyss-ness

What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

Submitting a stool sample.

What do you call someone you want to be stepped on by?

A crush crush

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What's a cardiologist's favourite kind of music?

The step.

What did the dog say after stepping off a sailboat?

Wharf!

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

Ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

What would you do if someone is choking?

Take a step back.

What do you do if you step on a landmine?

Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area.

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

A toe-mat-o.

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

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Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cause I stepped on it.

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!

What happened to you?

The doctor asks. "I stepped on something."

What did King Trident say when he stepped in the whale poop?

OH CARP!!!

How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

How much have you had to drink?

Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel

What would you say is your biggest flaw?

I step in in people's conversations" "i was asking *him*"

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

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Why do elephants jump across rivers?

So they won't step on the fish.

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on the mouse.

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants

What do you say when you step on a snake?

Well that bites.

What do you call 99 bunnies walking forward and they take one step backwards?

A receding hare line.

What did the sister cell say to her sister cell when she stepped on her foot?

Ow Mytosis! Credits to Amanda Damiani

What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels?

Very large ones.

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline Probally heard this but it's worth a shot

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?

A chicken stepping on a landmine.

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on?

Squash*

Who's skin is that?

Please step out of the vehicle sir.

What's the first step to throwing a space party?

You planet.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

Why was the stair frustrated and angry?

It was tired of being stepped on by everyone!

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

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Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

What do you call a?

What do you call a convict walking down some stairs Con-descending

Why couldn't the cup of tea climb flight of stairs?

Because it was too steep.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

Stool Sample Jokes More Stool Sample Jokes

What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman?

The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample.

Why did the doctor go the furniture store?

Because he needed a stool sample.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

What happened to the cold jellyfish?

It set!

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why is an engaged girl like a telephone?

Because they both have rings.

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

Dance Robot Jokes More Dance Robot Jokes

What did the man say when he got his dancing robot to work?

It twerks!" I don't know how this came to me..

What do you call a movie about dancing robots?

Step up: transformers:v

Submit Jokes More Submit Jokes

How do I submit a joke?

Do I hand my life in

Why should I submit a joke today?

Because today's April full!

School Jokes More School Jokes

What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?

The multiplication table.

What happens if you're late to extremophile school?

You get a tardy grade. (that explains the joke if you don't get it.)