Step Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Why shouldn't you go barefoot in Nigeria?

You might step on the Lagos.

What do you call a movie about dancing robots?

Step Up: Transformers.

What do you say to a molecular biologist who's about to step foot into the ring?

Show him what you're made of!

What do you get when you step into the ring with Mohammad Ali?

Too soon

How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries?

He stepped down.

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into?

None of your abyss-ness

What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

Submitting a stool sample.

What's a cardiologist's favourite kind of music?

The step.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did the dog say after stepping off a sailboat?

Wharf!

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

A toe-mat-o.

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cause I stepped on it.

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!

What happened to you?

The doctor asks. "I stepped on something."

What did King Trident say when he stepped in the whale poop?

OH CARP!!!

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How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

How much have you had to drink?

Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

Why do elephants jump across rivers?

So they won't step on the fish.

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on the mouse.

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants

What do you say when you step on a snake?

Well that bites.

What do you call 99 bunnies walking forward and they take one step backwards?

A receding hare line.

What did the sister cell say to her sister cell when she stepped on her foot?

Ow Mytosis! Credits to Amanda Damiani

What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels?

Very large ones.

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?

A chicken stepping on a landmine.

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on?

Squash*

What's the first step to throwing a space party?

You planet.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

Why was the stair frustrated and angry?

It was tired of being stepped on by everyone!

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

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Accept Jokes More Accept Jokes

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?

Urine.

What did the Office of Admissions say to the recently-accepted Urology student?

Ur-ine!

Stool Sample Jokes More Stool Sample Jokes

Why did the doctor go the furniture store?

Because he needed a stool sample.

What do you call it when you sit on a high chair to see if you want to buy it?

A stool sample.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stamp out forest fires!

What has webbed feet and fangs?

Count Quackula.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really?

Said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What was the last line in Anne Frank's diary?

Just a moment, someone's knocking on the door..

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs?

Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over.

What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night?

Hit the sack.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why do the elephants have short tails?

Because they can't remember long stories!

What was an elephant doing on the freeway?

About 5 miles per hour.

Nigeria Jokes More Nigeria Jokes

How do you throw a party in Nigeria?

You stick a piece of bread to the ceiling

Why shouldn't you go barefoot in Nigeria?

You might step on the Lagos.