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Step Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

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What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Why shouldn't you go barefoot in Nigeria?

You might step on the Lagos.

What do you call a movie about dancing robots?

Step up: transformers:v

What do you say to a molecular biologist who's about to step foot into the ring?

Show him what you're made of!

What do you get when you step into the ring with Mohammad Ali?

Too soon

How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries?

He stepped down.

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into?

None of your abyss-ness

What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

Submitting a stool sample.

What do you call someone you want to be stepped on by?

A crush crush

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What's a cardiologist's favourite kind of music?

The step.

What did the dog say after stepping off a sailboat?

Wharf!

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

Ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

What would you do if someone is choking?

Take a step back.

What do you do if you step on a landmine?

Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area.

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

A toe-mat-o.

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

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Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cause I stepped on it.

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!

What happened to you?

The doctor asks. "I stepped on something."

What did King Trident say when he stepped in the whale poop?

OH CARP!!!

How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

How much have you had to drink?

Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel

What would you say is your biggest flaw?

I step in in people's conversations" "i was asking *him*"

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

Everyday Deserves a Joke
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Why do elephants jump across rivers?

So they won't step on the fish.

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on the mouse.

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants

What do you say when you step on a snake?

Well that bites.

What do you call 99 bunnies walking forward and they take one step backwards?

A receding hare line.

What did the sister cell say to her sister cell when she stepped on her foot?

Ow Mytosis! Credits to Amanda Damiani

What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels?

Very large ones.

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline Probally heard this but it's worth a shot

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?

A chicken stepping on a landmine.

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on?

Squash*

Who's skin is that?

Please step out of the vehicle sir.

What's the first step to throwing a space party?

You planet.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

Why was the stair frustrated and angry?

It was tired of being stepped on by everyone!

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

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School Jokes More School Jokes

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?

They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

Fear Jokes More Fear Jokes

What do you call a fear of horned bovines?

Aurochnophobia.

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar?

Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.

Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book?

Her arms are amputated.

Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue?

A nun falling down the stairs

When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend?

He lost it.

What happens if you pee on Putin's head?

Urine big trouble...

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What's it called when a dog burns down a building?

Arfson

What happened when the bankrupt eastern European jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

What has four legs and see just as well from either end?

A horse with his eyes closed!

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

Cell Jokes More Cell Jokes

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&ampT jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya