Lottery Jokes

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

Why did the Greenlander get so angry when he didn't win the lottery?

Because he was inuit to win it

What has six balls and screws everybody?

The lottery.

What do they call the lottery in Africa?

Celebrity adoption.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

How amazing is it that nobody in the same Kingdom as Cinderella, had the same sized feet as her?

She should play the lottery too!

What lottery did the broom win?

The sweepstakes.

What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?

One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.

Who's there! Charles! Charles who?

Charles your luck on the lottery!

What did the electrical engineer do when she found out that she hadn't won the lottery?

She soldered on.

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X Jokes More X Jokes

How do mathematicians count x-men?

Permutations.

What do you call transgender superheroes?

X-Men.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Who wants to go to Florida with me?

I heard the clubs are to die for.

Why did the vegetables invite the mushroom to their party?

They heard he was a fungi

Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"

What are all sports in Africa called?

The hunger games

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Why do dogs chase their tails?

They want to make ends meet.

What does 2 electrons say when the meet each other?

Hey, watt's up?

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

Why did the airplane crash into the building?

BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A LOAF OF BREAD!

What did the Annoying Orange say on Fox News?

We're going to build a wall

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?

They are hiring.

Why did the chicken cross the road half way?

He wanted to lay it on the line!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why women fail at saving money?

Have you ever seen a money-box (piggy bank) with a hole at the bottom...

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?

A bunny with money.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why was the blonde in the tree?

A. Because she was raking up the leaves!

Why did Lot leave his wife?

She became salty.