Lottery Jokes

Why did the Greenlander get so angry when he didn't win the lottery?

Because he was inuit to win it

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

How amazing is it that nobody in the same Kingdom as Cinderella, had the same sized feet as her?

She should play the lottery too!

What lottery did the broom win?

The sweepstakes.

What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?

One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.

Who's there! Charles! Charles who?

Charles your luck on the lottery!

What did the electrical engineer do when she found out that she hadn't won the lottery?

She soldered on.

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How many guys in the friend zone does it take to light a light bulb?

None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won't screw.

What does a guy want more than anything in the world?

It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first.

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?

Me: Doesn't matter, just get out.

What do you call a pack of 8 Timbits?

A Timbyte

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?

He wanted rich milk!

Which boxer did Darth Vader put his money on in the fight?

The Thai fighter

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What's the difference between a Pound and a Dollar?

A dollar

What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?

Here Kitty kitty kitty'!

O Jokes More O Jokes

What do you call a person who drinks way too much soda?

A Coke-o-nut.

What is the formula for water?

George: HIJKLMNO Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you George: Sure you said H to O!

X Jokes More X Jokes

How do mathematicians count x-men?

Permutations.

Why did x and y break up?

They couldn't function together.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing?

He had deadlines to meet

When Shall We Meet Again?

By Miles Apart

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.