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G Jokes

How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.

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Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police?

Because the g is silent

How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the G.

What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

What's the capital of Greece?

The G

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?

G,Esus.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for Mother's Day?

G u knit

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?

Automobile.

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What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

GINGER.

How do you make one girl disappear?

Just add a G and now she's gone.

How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

Why did the skeletons start dancing?

Because they forgot the g in graveyard.

Why the letter "G" is scary?

In one fine evening it can turn your host into... GHOST.

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you get a woman from to be, to bed?

Give her the D.

What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

What is the difference between a human dad and a moth dad?

Two letters.

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

Envelope

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

Why do Australians always win 4D chess?

Double check, mate

How does an Australian clean is bum?

Bidet, mate.

Snoop Dogg Jokes More Snoop Dogg Jokes

What does Snoop Dogg do when he forgets to put on oven mitts?

He drops it like it's hot.

Why did Snoop Dogg get arrested?

Embezzlement

Hypocrisy Jokes More Hypocrisy Jokes

How do you spell hypocrisy?

R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N

What is the difference between a feminist and a machist?

The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call a T-Rex that's been weightlifting all day?

Dino-sore

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

13 Year Old Jokes More 13 Year Old Jokes

How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.

What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?

A virgin

Tune Jokes More Tune Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.