Letter Jokes

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How do you take the letter "F" out of the word "WAY"?

There is no F in way.

Why the story tells that Cindarella was at the ball?

Because the censor erased the letter "s".

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

A letter from an ISP saying they've been downloading illegally.

What are the ten letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye! Arrrr! & the Seven Seas!

What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?

The Post Office

What word has the most letters in it?

Postbox.

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?

Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box?

Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me.

What letter has to wait in line the longest?

Q

Where's the middle of nowhere?

It's three letters in. "H".

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What is the difference between a human dad and a moth dad?

Two letters.

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

An Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

What do the letters G, I, T, N, H, N & O have in common?

Nothing

What do you call a woman who throws letters in the fire?

Bernadette

Why was "C" afraid of all the other letters?

They are all "Not-C's"!

What do I do after I die?

Idk EDIT: Read the letters out loud

How many letters can you wear on your feet?

10 E's

Whats the last letter in the alphabet?

Somebody help plz I need help on kindergarten project

How do you fit an elephant in the subway?

You take the letter "S" out of "sub", and the letter "F" out of "way".

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

Why is the letter E lazy?

Because it's always in bed.

How did Canada pick its name?

There were two Canadians and an American. They put letters in a hat and drew. They got "C-eh", "N-eh", "D-eh". The American didn't know what was going on, but he relayed the message. I know i need to work on my execution.

How can you make seven even?

Take away the letter S.

How did they name Canada?

They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.

How many letters are in the alphabet during the Christmas Season?

Only 25...because there's Noel.

Why did the letter arrive wet?

Because it had postage dew.

What starts with 'D' and has two letters in it?

W

What did the letter F say when he became cool?

Sup G

What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common?

Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead.

Why do people leave letters at the football ground?

They want to catch the last goal-post!

Who's there! Adeline! Adeline who?

Adeline extra to the letter!

Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?

Payday vs prayday.

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

What do the letters G, I, T, N, H, N & O have in common?

Nothing

What are two letters a Brit can't live without?

T and Qs.

How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West?

By Bony Express.

What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

By hare (air) mail.

What do Ohio and Mackerels have in common?

Nothing! Ohio is the only state in the United States that's name shares no letters with the word mackerel.

How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet?

Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas.

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y

Why is the letter N the most powerful letter?

Because it is in the middle of TNT.

Why is E the only good letter?

Because every other letter is not E!

How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

By hare mail!

Why is the letter E like London?

Because it is the capital of England.

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

How can you spell chilly with two letters?

IC (icy).

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

What's the longest word in the English language?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Why do postmen carry letters?

Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.

What has ten letters and starts with gas?

Flatulence

What's a pirate's most favorite letter?

A letter of marque(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letterofmarque).

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

Envelope

What does December have that other months dont have?

The letter D.

What two words have thousands of letters in them?

Post office.

How does a ghost start a letter?

Tomb it may concern.

What letter stands for the ocean?

The letter C.

What's the difference between Botox and Borax?

Two letters.

Which letter has the best bum?

Big Rs

What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters?

With love and hisses.

What two words have the most letters?

Post office.

What letter is like a vegetable?

The letter P.

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

Which two letters on the keyboard are the furthest from each other?

X and V. There's a C between them.

What letters are not in the alphabet?

The ones in the mail of course!

How many redditors does it take to send a letter?

Three. One to post it, and two to repost it.

Where do ghosts mail their letters?

At the ghost office.

What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?

"The C" COMMENT A JOKE BELOW!

What letter should you avoid?

The letter A because it makes men mean.

What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer?

I.C.!

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter "D"!

What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?

Stone.

What has more letters than the alphabet?

The post office.

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

What's the best way to send a letter to Prince Charles?

Heir mail

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend?

It's a dead letter day.

What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?

Fang mail.

What starts and ends with a 'v' and is only one letter?

W'

Why does the letter A look like a flower?

Because Bs like flowers.

How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?

You take the letter F out of way.

Whats the similarity between Monkey in the Middle and Football?

Both of the groups that are concered about the health of someone playing both begin with the letter P.

What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals?

F.B.I.

Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing?

MT (empty)

Why must judges learn to spell well?

They must follow the letter of the law.

Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?

He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.

What two words contain the most letters?

Post office.

Which letter of the alphabet is the laziest?

Letter G (lethargy)

What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?

LO

Why is the letter "O" everywhere?

Because it's a round U.

What girl's name is like a letter?

Kay (K).

Which two letters are rotten for your teeth?

D K

What are the first three letters of the Greek alphabet?

I.O.U.

Why the letter "G" is scary?

In one fine evening it can turn your host into... GHOST.

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?

Envelope.

What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?

Fang letters!

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What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an S&amp?

M club? "Troll in the dungeon!"

How do you know your S&amp?

M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

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Why did the man invest in the kilovolt battery?

He thought it had a lot of potential.

What is it called when a man molests with each release?

Per version.

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Why are the other numbers afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?

Because she didn't know which one came first!

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Why did the college student ask for a refund on his student loan?

Because his *degree* didn't work!

Why should you work for a vegetable factory?

Because they offer a good celery.

Upper Case Letter Jokes More Upper Case Letter Jokes

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

How do you know your S&amp?

M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

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Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce?

She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra

What does IDK mean?

I've yet to find someone who knows.

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Why is the letter N the most powerful letter?

Because it is in the middle of TNT.

What should TNT host?

League of Legends. Because they know drama.

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Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying:'(