Letter P Jokes

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

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What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Spine

What letter is like a vegetable?

The letter P.

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What do you call a woman who throws letters in the fire?

Bernadette

What two words have thousands of letters in them?

Post office.

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Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Where did the farmer find his missing baby horse?

In the foliage.

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

What's the fastest way to ruin free pie?

Put the word 'gluten' at the beginning

G Jokes More G Jokes

Why the letter "G" is scary?

In one fine evening it can turn your host into... GHOST.

What's the capital of Greece?

The G

R Jokes More R Jokes

What's a pirate's favorite letter in the alphabet?

ARRGGHH" (R) Your response = (in a pirate voice of course) "You'd think it'd be the ARRGGHH but it actually be the SEA!!! (C)

What did the priest get at Toys R Us?

An erection.

Post Office Jokes More Post Office Jokes

What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?

They are hiring.

Why don't the post office get the Jehovah's Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday?

Work smarter not harder people.

Spine Jokes More Spine Jokes

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

How is Michael Jackson like the thousands of people outside Times Square on New Year's?

Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!

What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.